"Smile Like You Mean It..." :|

I just watched episode 12 from season 3 entitled: One Day, One Room.  This really is an interesting concept. It's the theory that Life is what we make of it. We are all living together in one world, but what makes our lives is what we make of each moment that we're with certain people. "Life is a series of rooms, and who we get stuck in a room each with each moment adds up to what our lives are" (30:00). The other message from this episode is What will I be remembered for?  Dr. Cameron is treating the dying homeless man, and he refuses to take treatment because if he died peacefully and painlessly, he would be just another patient. "Either you were a nice man or an ass, either way you did something to somebody that they're going to remember" (34:00).

I wonder what it is that I will be remembered for.  Each person that remembers me, assuming I will be remembered, will remember me for something different. Even my brother and sister will have completely different memories and "versions" of me embedded in their memories. What I think of myself is not what anybody else thinks, or at least, it shouldn't be. My life, as short as it has been so far, is not spectacular to me in anyway. Could it be that another person has lived the same life? What would make us different? Who was more memorable? Were either of us memorable?

Now that I'm finally puzzling over this question, I feel that I have a better understanding of why some people do such radical things. Truthfully, if I were courageous enough, I would do something like that too. To be remembered was such a huge deal to the warriors in the Homeric era because that was all they had, but even for me, I find it is important. I want to be remembered for a different reason though. I want to make a difference to somebody whereas the warriors wanted to be remembered for the sake of being remembered. They wanted to be godlike and immortal, and the closest thing they had to immortality was an everlasting image of them being heroes. I don't want to be godlike or immortal. There is one God for me to praise, there is one life here on Earth for me to live, and with my life I want to make a difference for somebody. I want save somebody, turn somebody's life around, help somebody.

What have I been making of each moment and the people I am with? I don't know if perhaps I have been taking people seriously enough. How do I know who needs me? How do I even know who I need? I live in an unfamiliar, new city and I am only just starting to get my bearings. Each moment has a significance, and I cannot help but regret that I have not been paying as much attention to life as I should have been. The people that I've met have changed my life. They change the way I react every moment, and the way I feel. They make me happy, angry, joyful, sad, etc. Each moment I have recorded in this blog (most are set for only me to read) have been so... blah. They aren't indepth or very spectacular or special, there are things I don't remember happening and I wish I would have written in more detail.

Who has changed your life? What will you be remembered for? What have you made of each moment?